Cat bag! Learn about the wave of conspiracies and political bombs of extremism by candidacy

Published at: 21/10/2026 10:51 PM

Wednesday, October 21, 2026.

Maracaibo, Santa Lucia sector, diagonal to Pa' Que Luis, in the white house with the red bars that have a Chávez banner and a mushy sign that says: WE WILL WIN!

Patriot Patricio the Maracucho.

What was Diosdado? How are you my dear brother?

Brother! For your own good I tell you not to start the letter until you sit in the black chair! Millet! I warn you to prepare yourself physically, mentally and spiritually to assimilate all the gossip I bring you, including a ñapa that is more poisonous than sending yourself a cocktail of disinfectant PLUS mixed with battery oil. It's seriously Malay! At least persist several times like the “Chavo del 8” does when the spirits of the choarreros come out and turn on the flashlight of the cell phone to ward off the bad vibes. Goddess! Once upon a time, take advantage of the fact that 'brother Jorge Rodríguez this Mazo is coming to ask for a consultation every Thursday morning, because with all the information I bring you about the fascist and failed opposition, you are going to be crazier than Manuel Rosales, alias “The Philosopher of Zulia”, when he said that: the country that produces the most PAPAS is Italy.

Cousin! We are going with the first atomic bombs, but I warn you that they are hotter than burning coals.

That's where my fan in love and mother of your godson wrote to me, that is, our cooperating patriot the “Popis” who is closer to Sayo than gum on a desk. Malay! The “Popis” sent you to say that since MariCori's “Submarine with Hollow” is openly and publicly confronted with its former allies in Washington, it is determined to call for more street demonstrations under the pretext of demanding an election date, but the real background is that “María Violencia” wants to bring the country to the same format as the guarimbas of 2014 to sell false social discontent and scare off oil investment, because the “Maria With Hate” has it between its eyebrows and eyebrows to sabotage all oil agreements. Goddess! Another thing that the “Popis” sent you to say is that you remember that she warned you in the last letter that the “Angry Mary” was planning to call for protests in the main cities of the country, but don't forget that in Caracas she's going to warm up until she moves people to Miraflores, so tell your friend the Minister to put the magnifying glass on that, see that tomorrow they are paying to mobilize and to provoke State security agencies, as always, they are looking for the photo.

Cousin! Do you remember our cooperating patriot “TequeYoyo”? , who is one of the political advisors of the “Panamanian” Bueno Mijo! So you know that “TequeYoyo” learned that Sayo's “Submarine with a hole” met again with an emissary from Álvaro Uribe's paraco to help her plan her return to Venezuela across the border with Colombia. Cousin! But “TequeYoyo” says that although “María con Ira” is managing several options to put together a show with her return to Venezuela, at the same time she is considering delaying it because no one here throws balls at her, nor at her keyboard fans who are returning to the country like minced rice.

Malay! I bring you more good gossip than having a cell phone that doesn't drain its battery.

That's where our patriot cooperate wrote to me “Ropa Sola” who is called that because he's so skinny that he doesn't have a big toe. Good brother! The “Ropa Sola” found out through a political party very close to the Unitary Platform, that the “Maria with Hate” forced all leaders of the PUPU to confirm all their support and loyalty, that explains the forced show on a Sunday, look brother! you have to be very desperate to do that. The only thing that was confirmed is that once again La Sayo runs in front and sabotages the move, because she told me “Ropa Sola” that she did it the joke in response to the fact that Dinorah Figuera was received at the State Department like they never received her. Diosdado! Start thinking that with that PUPU statement, the broom was finally ignited, because the “Maria in Wrath” together with the PUPU are challenging their former allies, who were quite hungry through USAID. You see cousin, I'm not a cizañero and it's not for nothing, but those oppositional pussies are very ungrateful, if I were a gringo I would ask him to account for the little copper that was stolen from American taxpayers. Suck on that Diosdado tangerine!

Brother! our cooperating patriot “Yasuri Yamileth” who helps “Claudia Macero” alias “The Stranger” to manage the Sayo communication swarm, told me this morning that MariCori's “La Panameña” is so hysterical and vindictive, that she committed to some bankers to get 4 million dollars that she plans to spend on renewing the swarm and continuing to pay journalists to ask questions and harass senior officials of the American government, brother that this joke never ceases to amaze me. Cousin! Some of the new team of influencers who joined the swarm, are some kids who until recently made content supporting the revolution, but now La Sayo paid them and put them on the street to put on shows and fakes, that's the way things are.

¡Diosdado! Look for a better place in the black chair because here I bring you more good gossip than scratching your back with the edge of the wall.

That's where our cooperating patriot “El Pejoteco” reappeared, who sometimes gets lost more than the cover of a pendrive. Good Primo! So that you know that the “Pejoteco” found out that Capriles, alias “Manguangua”, is once again aspiring to be a candidate for the governor of the state of Miranda, but he is going to get caught up in a fire because Carlos Ocariz, alias “Conflei con Agua”, is also going to aspire to be a candidate for that governor, and since the two pussies come from “First the Cobres”, they are killing themselves to call the few militants who were left “and that” to start State in pre-campaign what a manguangua!

Goddess! The other thing that the “Pejoteco” sent you to say so that you can say them live in El Mazo, is that he found out about a conspiracy that is under way orchestrated by Juan Pablo Guanipa, alias “El Tequeño Traidor” against Dinorah Figuera and the Cejón de Julio Borges. Cousin! According to what the “Pejoteco” heard, it was that the “Tequeño Diabolico” is so desperate because the “María con Ira” names him a candidate for the governor of Zulia, who committed to “María Violencia” to sabotage Dinorah's agenda and the dialogue process. Brother! He also sent you to say the “Pejoteco” that he had quite warned you that “Tequeño Siniestro” is more treacherous than a cheap deodorant and that since the “Tequeño Podrido” had betrayed Capriles, Leopoldo and Guaidó, he will also betray Sayo and Julio Borges himself at any time.

Goddess! I'm leaving now, but I'm going to throw two more atomic bombs at you, because I love you more than sitting in the passenger seat on an ENCAVA bus listening to old people's vallenatos. Do you remember that I had already informed you that Gustavo Ruíz, alias “The Invisible” and leader of Vente-Zulia, was also going to return to Venezuela to begin his pre-electoral campaign for the government of Zulia? good brother! Gustavo Ruiz's “The Invisible” is already in the country and will soon be putting on a show in Maracaibo for his return from golden exile; but that's not all brother, our cooperating patriots “Pokémon” and “Pejoteco” told me that Lester Toledo, alias “The Tinder Swindler” and the “Tequeño Demoniaco” are more bathed than chicken coop because according to them, “María Violencia” sent Gustavo Ruiz pal' Zulia to fuck them up because they are more traitors and corrupt than anything else the fourth republic together. Cousin! says our cooperating patriot “ASOMAMA”, who is called that because he is the director of the “Association of Husbands Abused by Women” and in addition, he is a member of A New Time, that Manuel Rosales is watching the bulls from the sidelines and swears that if La Chinita gives him health, he will crush them all, including MariCori and his candidate for governor.

Malay! I'm going to give you a ñapita, but pay close attention because this information is more serious than Mr. Barriga's face when he's collecting rent from Don Ramón. This morning, our cooperating patriot “Candy Candy” told me that she found out that the Sayo “Submarine with a hole” is carrying out a mega-conspiracy against the oil agreements signed by Venezuela and the United States. Candy Candy says that the conspiracy includes sabotage of the country's oil production, a call for oil stoppages, a campaign of defamation against managers of companies that are investing in Venezuela, in addition to calls for protests to generate the perception of political instability. Malay! I tell you all this so that you can report it to your friend the minister.

Cousin, let you know that “Chicho”, my younger brother, is going to marry the bride in December; but he's a pain in the ass because the bride is evangelical and Chicho is Catholic, and they don't know what church they're going to get married in. Goddess! He sent you to say “Chicho” that if you can be his wedding witness, because you are more famous and loved than Daddy Yanki.

Good brother! I'm leaving! God what I love you is dick. I love you more than a “Pavilion” of those who prepare in the “Marilyn” restaurant is next to the brown INCE that is on “Bella Vista” avenue in Maracaibo. Brother! That pavilion has well-seasoned black caraotas and shredded meat from the loose. Garnish with slices of ripe banana with grated cheese on top of at least a kilo of rice from the spring, cooked salad scrambled with mayonnaise and pepper, parboiled cassava with sauce, some balls of peeled rolls, and a service of toasted bread with butter, such as those served in Chinese restaurants. Cousin! And let it not sound like much annoyance or abuse, let them put a carton of fried eggs on top of it! Malay! To take that, you should go with a plastic jar of guarapo made of Panela with lemon, with plenty of ice and a syrupy glass. Goddess! For dessert, so as not to deprave myself too much, a three-milk cake, a gypsy arm and some of the wafers sold in the “Ana María Campos” park, which pour a lot of condensed milk on top and rain of colors. Cousin! Just in case there are still doubts about my love and gratitude for you, I'm going to order a chicken and beef cross soup, which they sell in that same restaurant.

Take care of me Malay! Change and out!

Mazo News Team