Even their macaws can't stand it! Find out what La Sayo's spite was like after the energy agreement with the US

Published at: 09/09/2026 09:11 PM

Caracas, Wednesday, September 09, 2026.

FROM THE LA CHIKI HAIRDRESSER, MY HAIRDRESSER WHO DATES A GOAT FROM PJ

Patriota del Valle Arriba Country Club Hello gordoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

How are you, my chubby politzia, my baby Gerber del Furrial, my spoiled baby? I'm in the gossip of hairdressing, because I came to Chiki to find out about several things that are happening in the inner circle of what they call “opposition” and that Cori sometimes doesn't tell me because it doesn't suit her. Of course I also came to “relax”, because with the new adventures of my friend Cori, not even a hot stone massage works for me! Bone!

MY GOAT IN COCONUT LIKE THE ONE THEY MAKE IN LA GUAJIRA. The first thing Chiki told me, while applying Brazilian keratin, is that things go from bad to worse every day in what they call “The Club of Failed Opponents”, where the PUD-PUPU, the Rosales UNT, the UNT of Capriles and the cult of my friend Cori live. Drunk, these people are stuck in a maze with no way out, more lost than a tourist trying to get to San Agustín. They don't know where to grab! Some want to participate in the municipal elections, others shout that the election must be presidential NOW! , others are secretly seeking communication with Washington, others send messages to Miraflores asking to “talk”, others are still packing their bags to return to Venezuela with their tails between their legs, and those who cannot return, because they are confessed criminals, those want to destabilize again. God! Each little group pulls its way, and in the middle of the labyrinth is my friend Cori, with his compass broken and shouting at Magalli: “What do I do now?” Bone! Please ooooor!

Drunk! Many lousy people who until a few days ago shouted that “the regime” was persecuting them, are returning. The last tourist to arrive is María Beatriz Martínez's lousy one, better known as “the phone robber”. Thanks to Dior and Chanel that we never approved this woman's admission to the Valle Arriba Club! Imagine the hassle of having to put a chain on your phone so it doesn't get stolen while you're having a cuddle on the terrace! Well, my God, this María Beatriz is one of those who betrayed Cori, of those who swore absolute loyalty to her until she found out that Cori had fallen into disgrace. Bee, all wrong, opposing loyalty lasts less than my eyelash extensions!

MY FRESH CORN CHICHA. The arrival of all this rift has a lot to do with the failed chiripero crisis. Everyone! , absolutely EVERYONE! , before setting foot on Venezuelan soil, they shout that they are coming “in peace and in absolute unity”, they set up the scene, they move people to sell a tremendous reception and swear that every day they will be on the street moving rivers of people, but it turns out that the reality is different: there is no mass for so much arepa! The failed opposition lost followers, there are not so many people for such an empty shell, that's why they are killing each other and “unity” is a cheap lie to try to deceive the international community.

Drunk! , since none of these opposition shells have organic militancy, a new venture has been born in the opposition: “militancy rental”. That's why you can see the same face in different events and with different flannels (today PJ, tomorrow Vente, after UNT, and Popular Will Sunday; in short, a t-shirt show worthy of Milan Fashion Week!). But get ready, here comes the good stuff.

MY LLANERO PIKE STICK. Cori has been communicating with some of the heads of the “Club of the Failed Opposition” to announce their next return, and she has let them know that, the moment she touches Caracas, everyone has to join her or she will be responsible for ending them in the media. That is to say: either they are with Cori or they are against him, there is no third option. The opposition chiripero is not very happy with the return of my girl; what's more, she became a problem for the opponents themselves, not for Chavism.
If it's because of us, let him come back, to see how it is consumed faster. All opponents know that around Cori no political construction is reliable. She changes her mind as I change my wallet, is inconsistent and her level of resentment is higher than the Central Park Towers. Cori will never forgive pious opponents. Cori is an expert at not forgetting what people do to her, and once she throws the evil eye at you, you don't get up from there unless she's interested. A little bit of what she does with my uncle the Unclean, whom she only names and uses when it suits her. By the way, baby! , this is the time and Cori didn't even send a birthday card to uncle! That says a lot about what that relationship is like. Bone!

God! How do I explain that Cori wants to force an alliance with her, as happened with the famous Panama Manifesto that died at birth. The problem with an alliance with Cori, at this time, is that she far surpassed Guaidó in levels of attrition; Cori is more radioactive than a nuclear power plant and only a miracle can revive it. But, baby! , in politics miracles are done by the people, not the lobbies.

MY PELON BUN. Let's talk about Cori's return. My friends are still torn between pursuing their policy of blackmail and discrediting Americans to see if that makes it through this month, or if it actually stays until after November 3. Remember that she is betting on the failure of her former allies. Cori asked her Colombian friends for help. At the same time, the different lobbies hired by Cori in Washington have been in charge of making arrangements to see if they receive her again on the sides of the White House, and to reinforce the operation they have already put on the show that Cori must go to New York to receive a new award, of course the perfect excuse to see if they will lift her punishment. All this in the midst of a storm where Cori, through his communication apparatus, tries to sow the idea that Republicans are losing space to understand Chavism. God! , I have never seen manipulation and a lie like this! Cori lies and manipulates with the brazenness of a street vendor selling Louis Vuitton wallets that are replicas.

Let's continue! I drink! , one wonders: how far will this story go to them that she can change election results in another country? We don't know, my God! Here we are clear that Venezuela has no real impact on the American electorate other than media noise. In that sense, the war of polls has begun, and in a strange alliance between Cori and the business partners of some little children who are inventing little things, they moved a communication matrix through Atlas Intel, the same polling company with which Cori closed a deal in May of this year.

MY SWEET ICACOS. It turns out that this pollster, in its supposed measurement for the month of August, presents American politicians in free fall and Chavismo rising like foam, but beware, it's a trap. Without telling you who goes up and who goes down, I can only tell you that everything is part of a strategy whose details I will give you privately. Cori wants to sell the idea that she is dropping the numbers, but that the gringos are dropping even lower because they don't work with her. This is called a “credible rumor”, where she counts herself as part of the alleged victims just to sow her idea. The truth is that Cori neither went up nor down, nor will she go up, because she has been below the 25 floor for a while.

But back to the topic: the move is out, Diosdado José! Believe me, nothing escapes this sifrine. Let them continue to believe that we are fools, that in every manipulated survey they dig deeper into their own political grave.

When I saw that, I was thoughtful, and looking intently in the mirror I said to myself: myself! Does Cori really think we're going to eat the story of a survey cooked in the oven? You'd better dedicate yourself to seeing how you're going to hide the alliances you've been building with detractors of Chavism, and say it out loud, my God, because they know what we're talking about.

MY LITTLE YELLOW ICE CREAM. As Cori shoots up her numbers and plays with manipulation, the waters move underneath. Every day there is growing concern among businessmen, politicians and NGOs involved in financing the fraudulent acquisition of the Nobel Prize from my friend Cori. As they say out there: “every pig gets his Saturday”, and impunity is not eternal, fat boy. This ongoing investigation is one more reason for Norwegians to distance themselves from “Innobel”, and this is one of the reasons why she was not in person at the Nobel Conference on September 3 and participated via Zoom: finally she didn't dare to travel to Oslo, and the audience was a Titanic disaster without an orchestra.

My friend connected by video call from his bunker in Panama, with a speech preceded by his team. Do you know how many people watched it live on the official channel of the Nobel Institute, my God? Less than the Instagram Live of a third-party influencer! The Magalli Meda called me crying, chubby, CRYING! , because the numbers promised to him by the “experts in digital communication” were not fulfilled even by chance. The Cori demanded that the little parakeet Pedro Urruchurtu “fix the metrics”, and the poor guy had to go out and buy retweets like someone who buys empanadas on the beach in Choroní on a Sunday. Bee, all bad, all bad!

By the way, God! , you must admit that here we were the first to say that Leopoldo López's cousin, Thor Halvorssen, used his contacts and the façade of his NGO Human Rights Foundation to influence the congressmen who in turn appoint the Nobel jury. I drink! , when this scandal breaks out, it will splatter even the Norwegian bodyguards and will tarnish the prestige of the entire committee. It will be the biggest scandal of the Nobel Prize since its founding in 1901. A fact, my little bear Winnie the Pooh: how long did Thor Halvorssen and Crazy Leo have left for betting on PolyMarket knowing in advance that the Nobel Prize was for Cori? Will this use of privileged information also be investigated? In the end they're all the same mafia, I've always told you: they change their disguise, but the stew is the same.

MY PASTA WITH LISA'S EGGS. Following his losing run, my friend decided to break the silence last week and went out to talk about the energy agreement between Venezuela and the United States. But, darn it, fat boy! , what she said was worse than keeping quiet. It only took 7 minutes and 18 seconds of video for Cori to put the cake back on. The girl took FIVE DAYS to speak out and said verbatim that she “took a few days” to “learn more”. Bone! Isn't she supposed to know everything, and to find out she had to go Google for information? Bee, this is scary!

The real gossip, my baby, is that it's not the agreement that hurts Cori: it hurts that it wasn't signed with her. It's pure zeal, it's geopolitical spite at the La Rosa de Guadalupe level. The girl wanted to be the signer, the protagonist, the one who appears in the photo. To top it all off! , the double game. In the same video, Cori says that “we need serious international partners, sustainable investments, Win-Win for all”, but on the other hand, he has ordered his swarm, the 2.0 machinery, to attack investors, to threaten the companies that are signing and to defame the American officials who negotiated the agreement.
That's the definition of diplomatic schizophrenia, my God! On the one hand he tells the gringos “I am your ally, choose me”, and on the other he sends their bots to say “everything they sign without us will be invalidated when I come to power”. No serious investor on the planet risks their money with a lady who says “welcome” with her mouth and “I'm going to sue you” with her hands!

Diosdado José LISTEN TO ME because this is the part where I get toxic!
Cori is going to try to force her return to Venezuela this September using the Colombian letter. Meanwhile, the criminals who declared themselves to be self-persecuted “from the regime”, but who really know that they don't come back because they have crimes that are not amnestiable, as is the case of Iván Simonovis and a band about which I passed information to you through the private sector, want to bet again on violence to try to eliminate several cadres of Chavism, and of course you are in the first place. They know that, as long as you exist, you will be their rock in the shoe to re-destabilize Venezuela.

The plan of Cori, Simonovis and all those criminals is to return to the bloodbath and instability to force a coup d'etat. It's the same old script, but they know they have the clock ticking and, if this year ends like we've been surfing it, they know that they'll be buried forever for having done so much harm to the people of Venezuela.

My baby! Things are being woven in La Guajira, and my friends should abandon that idea, because if on other occasions she has encountered a wall, now she is going to achieve three much stronger walls. God! , let Cori not say later that we didn't announce it to him, and remind him that the meeting with Raulito is not good, nor are those crazy ideas about what they call “Operation 51". I think they've been inventing a lot; you're going to have to talk to your friend again, the handsome, the handsome, the cute little eyes of the Minister of the Interior.

Meanwhile, we continue to move forward with intelligence, with pragmatism, with heart, and the opposition is self-defeating, eating itself up.

I write to you and I feel like in the movie Lady and the Wanderer, I'm a princess and you're a Cacri.

Miss me, remember that you are my fiu-fiu baby.

Mazo News Team