It will be like the guava tree! Learn why María la Chick-Flada is worried about the return of her self-exiled friends to the country

Published at: 03/06/2026 11:56 PM

Wednesday, June 03, 2026.

Maracaibo, Santa Lucia sector, diagonal to Pa' Que Luis, in the white house with the red bars that have a Chávez banner and a mushy sign that says: “RETURN NICOLÁS AND CILIA” WE WILL WIN!

Patriot Patricio the Maracucho.

What was Diosdado? How are you my dear brother?

Cousin! What are you doing standing up? Go sit in the black Malay chair, because we're wasting my people's time.

Goddess! I think it's best, before you start reading the letter, to do at least two yoga exercises, like before, so that you can put your central nervous system into the environment and better assimilate the twists I bring you. Brother! If you want to start by giving good food to your lungs, in other words, take several deep breaths; then ring your fingers, one by one, so that your hands relax. When you already feel that you are relaxed, take advantage and confirm to Brother Jorge Rodríguez that first thing tomorrow you will be in the first place in the queue, because with all the information I bring you about the fascist and failed opposition, you are going to be crazier than Manuel Rosales, alias “The Philosopher of Zulia”, when he said that he never has friends named Díaz because he once heard that “bad days are coming” Diosdado!

Let's go as dermatologists say; that is, “Straight to the Point” but first, I recommend that you put on your helmet and imagine that you are a motorcycle taxi, and that you are going down to La Guaira, because this gossip that I bring you is like something out of the movie “Fast and Furious”.

Malay! Do you remember our cooperating patriot Pirulin Pin Pon? The one with the “only shirt and the only pants”? The one who lives in Bogotá and always gives us information from the brother country? Good brother! So you know that “Pirulin Pin Pon” wrote to me on Sunday night, and she told me that María Corina, alias “La Sayo”, was more drenched than a black cat, on Friday the 13th and with the full moon; and that now they call her “The New Lian Tintori” because politicians or candidates with whom a photo is taken always have a political disgrace or get mixed up in elections.

And Pirulin Pin Pon is very right, Diosdado, because remember that Sayo publicly supported the presidential candidate of the paraco Álvaro Uribe in Colombia, and what they left her behind was behind the ambulance. María Corina went to take a photo with the new president of Bolivia, Rodrigo Paz, alias “El Español” and then the world came crashing down with the wave of protests across the country. Cousin! But it was also the case with Milei in Argentina, with José Antonio Kast in Chile and with the president of Panama; after MariCori took a picture with them, the 10 plagues of Egypt fell to them a few days later, with the apocalypse included. Goddess! Don't laugh Malay, seriously, that Sayo is scarier than opening a black umbrella inside a cemetery pantheon. Get out Gato!

Cousin! Just so you know, that our cooperating patriot “La Popis” has already told me that Sayo is going crazy sending her secretly emissaries to the national government and the political high command of the PSUV, and that, in order to meet with Delcy Eloína, with Dr. Jorge Rodríguez and with you, because that is the only option left to them. Brother! But also, Popis told me that since MariCori there is no longer anything to do to defeat the government, she herself thought she was a stupid one like Lilian Tintori and she wants to meet with the three of you to invite you to take a picture with her. Sayo says she wants to try to take a picture with you to see if with her dreadful powers she can defeat Chavism. Goddess! You know that I am not superstitious; but since I know that the Sayo is moving more than a chaca washing machine to meet you, I recommend that you seek holy water and protection from the good one, because that joke only needs to make a pact with the cachuo.

Brother! Our cooperating patriot “Candy Candy” who is the nail and filth of Magalli Meda, alias “La Commadre”, told me that María Corina is desperate to return to Venezuela, because Sayo says that the opposition leaders who are returning to the country are going to use her image to 'campaign' for the governorates and mayors, and also, she says, that she must return to the country before Juan Guaidó, alias “Juanito Alimaña”, arrives, because remember that he is secretly asking for the Amnesty Law

Goddess! Look for a better fit in the chair because here I come with better information than putting on sports shoes with a flux.

Do you remember our cooperating patriot Pokémon? Who is one of Lester Toledo's right hands, aka “Tinder scammer”? Good brother! Pokémon told me that Lester's Swindler is “and that” more distressed than Pinocchio talking on a lie detector; because he still hasn't been able to recover from the anger they gave him on social networks for having said that he never belonged to the interim government of “Juanito Alimaña” and that he didn't manage humanitarian aid funds either. Cousin! Hands badly that the same gangsters from Vente Venezuela and Un Nuevo Tiempo were responsible for making Lester Toledo's videos viral on social media when he made statements at the height of 2019 as an interim official and confirming that he handled more than 100 million dollars in humanitarian aid, just from the first transaction he received.

Goddess! Pokémon says that he, in some letters from years ago, had already informed us why the “Lester Swindler” came out the back door of the Government of El Salvador, and it was because of a new case of embezzlement. Apparently Lester wants to crown something in Venezuela to see if he pays the Bukele what he owes them, I'll leave it there. Cousin! What this little animal likes is stewing.

Brother! Pokémon gave me other information that I later confirmed with our cooperating patriot “Pejoteco”.

Pokémon told me that between the Tinder Swindler, from Lester Toledo and Juan Pablo Guanipa, alias “Tequeño Traidor” they agreed to” “ do a PUPÚ act in Maracaibo to promote “unity”, but the background was that between Lester and the “Tequeño Traidor” they agreed to challenge Manuel Rosales, alias “The Philosopher of Zulia”, in their own backyard, because Lester and the Tequeño Siniestro claim that A New Time in Maracaibo it's more dismantled than Tarzan's closet. Brother! That party no longer has people even to hand out flyers on the street. Goddess! Apart from all this, remember what Pokémon told us last week, that Lester was already offering up to a monthly salary to the leaders of UNT in Zulia so that they could go to 'Popular Voluntad; obviously all this, the “ Tinder Scammer”, is financing it with money stolen from humanitarian aid which he converted into Bitcoin.

Goddess! That's where our cooperating patriot “Mosquito Muerto” appeared again, one of Enrique Márquez's political operators, alias “Caucho e Replaced”.

Mosquito Muerto told me that rubber is the answer to Enrique Márquez walking like crazy moving heaven and earth so that the gringo administration receives it; obviously, to take a picture. According to “Dead Mosquito” Enrique Márquez, he aims to have a photo with some heavy gringo to get the financiers off the mule. Goddess! And remember that “Rubber is Replacement” looks like an industrial drill, because it is hammering all the businessmen who cross his path, telling them that they have to give him copper, because he, supposedly, is Trump's presidential candidate in Venezuela. Brother! Mosquito Muerto says that it is not known who is more fraudster, Lester Toledo or Enrique Márquez; and that you answer that question, because he is more confused than Dracula Donating Blood in a hospital.