The desperate Sayo! Learn about their new criminal plans against Venezuela

Published at: 30/07/2025 10:47 PM

Wednesday, July 30, 2025.

Maracaibo, Santa Lucía sector, diagonal to Pa' Que Luis, in the white house with the red bars that have a banner of Chávez and a cooler sign that says: “WITH MADURO, WE PUT A CLUE TO THE OPPOSITION IN THE MUNICIPAL ELECTIONS OF JULY 27”.

Patriot Patricio the Maracucho.

What was Diosdado? How are you my dear brother? Look, cousin, I'm happier than a dog with two tails because the tremendous victory of Chavism in the municipal elections last Sunday is for the album of good news for Venezuela. Malay, what a beating! , and that's not to mention the ruckus that our corduroy Gian Carlo Di Martino threw at that tougher opposition than an old car in Maracaibo. I, Patricio El Maracucho, told you. Cousin! On July 27, the opposition was more upset than Don Ramón when Doña Florinda slapped him for pinching Kiko.

What a gizzard, Diosdado! The opposition is screaming because they lost ground, but who tells them to be weaker than a chigüire in summer. Those fuckers can't even walk in the bathroom, and the people stink at them, so they won't even win a lottery draw!

Okay, cousin! Let's get to the point, don't play crazy and sit in the black chair, make yourself comfortable as if you were Sergeant Garcia snoring in Diego de la Vega's bed in El Zorro. Goddess! Before starting, ask for a very cold panelada so that you cool off and relax, because with the bulge of information I bring you from that fascist opposition, you are going to be crazier than Manuel Rosales, alias “The Philosopher of Zulia”, when he swore that he fell down a two-meter ladder and nothing happened to him because he slipped from the first step.

Brother! We are going with María Corina, alias “La Sayo”, who is more desperate than a mosquito in a room with the plagatox on, because nothing works out for her and she is more dented than the gym in January. Thanks to the information given to us by our cooperating patriot, the community manager of La Sayo, we dismantled the penultimate terrorist plan that woman had for the last week of July. The plan was to kidnap two senior government officials, take them to the border with Colombia, hand them over to paramilitaries under the command of “Alpha 1”, transfer them to Colombia and to accuse them of drug traffickers and set up a media show to make people forget that María Corina is more of a failure than the cat Silvestre chasing Piolín.

Cousin! When I say “penultimate terrorist plan”, it's because La Sayo still has another card up her sleeve, but we've already leaked it. I sent you all the info through WeChat so that you can send it to your friend the minister.

Goddess! The community manager of La Sayo also told us that María Corina sent her troop of longliners to beat her former wretch Marco Rubio, alias “Little Marco”, because the guy promoted the release of Venezuelan migrants kidnapped in El Salvador and, to top it off, betrayed her by supporting the new oil licenses, including Chevron's. But that's not all, brother! , La Sayo received gossip from Washington that Donald Trump, alias “El Catire”, told Rubio to authorize more licenses and not to give María Corina a lot of trouble because she is more important than a lottery seller. That info is clearer to your friend “La Sifri”, that joke that tastes better than a patacon and cheese, but who never gave me a chance because she says I'm more out of fashion than LEO interiors.

Goddess! Other information that came to us from the community manager and that I confirmed with our patriot “El Gringo” is that La Sayo is in secret meetings with some big boys from the Democratic Party, the girl is conspiring against El Catire Trump. According to El Gringo, María Corina is offering to support the Democratic presidential candidate in the 2027 elections and to help win the Latino vote. In exchange, La Sayo asks them that, if Rubio and Trump agree with Super Mustache, to reopen the U.S. embassy. In the United States in Caracas, the Democrats must close it when they come to power. And, to top it off, La Sayo wants a total blockade of Venezuela, to cut all licenses and squeeze the country until people die of hunger and take to the streets to knock down Super Mustache. Cousin, that sounds like a horror movie script, but it's true! La Sayo has its dark side, and some Democrats are also on the same wavelength.

I sent the list of the Democrats that La Sayo is meeting with to the WeChat group “Resteados con Super Mustache”.

Malay! Grab the chair and tell Coquito to focus on you, because a gossip about La Sayo is coming up that is tastier than a little one stuffed with cheese. Our patriot “VitaFer”, who is still infiltrated by the Signal de Vente Venezuela group, sent you to say that María Corina's few remaining political team is demanding harder than a creditor in a fortnight. They don't understand why he called for electoral abstention if no one stopped him and people still went out to vote, leaving them without political space. They asked La Sayo what comes after this failed boycott and how is it that she is planning to seek political asylum in the United States. Diosdado, VitaFer says La Sayo was quieter than a fan without light!

Brother! In that same Signal group, the La Sayo team told him that he has to admit that, one year after the presidential elections of July 28, hardly anyone remembers Edmundo González, alias “Inmundo”, and that the rejection of her grows faster than weeds in vacant land, because she is more a liar than a boyfriend, impressing the first few days and has failed more than El Chavo selling fresh water.

Cousin! Our cooperating patriot “El Madrileño”, who doesn't let go of Inmundo González even with hot water, told me that last Thursday Inmundo put on his pants and sent La Sayo to fuck off. It turns out that she, through Pedro Urruchurtututu, alias “Mango Aguado”, asked him to record a video calling not to vote on July 27. But Inmundo, who is not such an idiot, told her that she was not going to carry that dead man, that she had better do it herself.

Goddess! Our cooperating patriot, the owner of the paddle tennis courts in Miami where Juan Guaidó plays, alias “Juanito the Vacuum Cleaner”, sent you a fact about one of the informants we have in the State Department. It turns out that El Catire Trump and Marco Rubio agreed last week to add more candle to the speech against Venezuela to calm the radicals, who are fed up because they were left watching little birds with the issue of oil licenses. The Crazy Cubans, that is, the Cuban congressmen, are giving off sparks because they were left on the street with the licenses.

Look, Malay! Changing the subject a bit, did you see the electoral conspiracy we gave to Henri Falcón, alias “El Chimón”, in Barquisimeto? That corduroy is more lost than tourists without a map in the center of Maracaibo.

Cousin! Another one who is more scrubbed than Chavo without ham cake is Manuel Rosales, alias “The Philosopher of Zulia”. The beating we put on him in the municipalities of Zulia wasn't anything. So much so, that Rosales is already thinking about playing invisible for a while, because his UNT party gets fewer votes than a candidate for course delegate and says he was more screwed up than a car without gas in Circunvalación 1.

Goddess! In Maracaibo, people are happier than children on holiday because of the victory of our comrade Gian Carlo Di Martino. The driver behind the Bella Vista trolleys sent you to say that the grassroots militancy of UNT, Unión y Cambio, and other opposition parties mobilized more than 50,000 votes for Di Martino to ensure the victory of the PSUV. Cousin! Di Martino has already said that, as soon as he takes office as mayor, with the support of our Super Mustache commander and Governor Luis Caldera, he will turn Maracaibo into a more entertaining city than a piper sunrise.

Brother! Our cooperating patriot “Pokémon” sent you to say that the 50 elected mayors of the opposition are already scheduling a meeting with Super Mustache to recognize him as the legitimate president and put himself in charge of the national government.

Cousin! , I say goodbye because I have to take my mom to the proclamation of our compatriot Gian Carlo Di Martino as elected mayor of Maracaibo, and then I promised your godson Hugo Nicolás that I will take him to eat some wafers at the entrepreneur's fair in Ana María Campos Park.

Good God! I love you more than a service of mixed pelones sold at “Pa' que Argenis”, in the last corridor of Las Pulgas. Those that come with a moustache of ground beef and chicken, bathed in a verguero of tomato sauce with oregano and garlic sauce, even if the roll is soaked. Let the stew have everything, crazy vegetables! , and a carton of scrambled eggs. As a side dish: some well-crushed green banana toasts, with lots of salt and heavy cream on top; a kilo of mazacoudo rice with the tomato sauce included in the roll; a cooked salad of carrot, potato, coriander, hard-boiled egg and lots of thick mayonnaise. To drink, a 5 liter bottle of guarapo from Panela with ice to burst. And if I were left hungry, which is the safest thing, two squares of pasticho of those giants that come with a lot of smoked ham, and they sell them in the same place. As I have been struggling with my diet, for dessert I would only order a Paledonia of the gizzards, the kind sold in front of the church of Santa Rita, with a splash of Panela, vanilla and condensed milk on top.

You take care of me, cousin! What I love you is dick!