Thief who steals from thief! Learn about Guanipa's plans and the reaction of María la Chik-Flada

Published at: 06/05/2026 10:42 PM

Wednesday, May 06, 2026.
Maracaibo, Santa Lucia sector, diagonal to Pa' Que Luis, in the white house with the red bars that have a Chávez banner and a mushy sign that says: “RETURN NICOLÁS AND CILIA” WE WILL WIN!

Patriot Patricio the Maracucho.

What was Diosdado? How are you, my dear brother?

Cousin! Put the cushion on the black chair and sit down; let's not waste my time because people are waiting. But before you start reading the letter, I recommend that this time you don't order the cherry coffee that you like, but that you ask for at least one piece of paper with lemon, so that you can sweeten yourself before reading the stories I bring you about the showsera and deceitful opposition. Of course Malay, I followed the usual instruction: write to Jorge Rodríguez once and tell him that you are going to need an extra hour of therapy tomorrow, because with all the information I bring you about the failed and dented extremist opposition, you are going to be crazier than Manuel Rosales, alias “The Philosopher of Zulia”, when he said that: “so that prices don't skyrocket you have to take away your guns and all your weapons”.

Goddess! , roll up your seat belt around your chest, imagine that you are Toretto, the bald, muscular pussy from the movie Fast and Furious, and let's go as dermatologists say: straight to the point! , because you are going to enjoy more than El Chavo del 8 when Mr. Barriga took him to the beaches of Acapulco.

Cousin! , our cooperating patriot “Yasuri Yamileth” who edits the videos for “La Sayo” and is a filth with my ex “La Popis”, told me that “MariCori” almost gave her a stroke of anger when she found out that Juan Pablo Guanipa, alias “Tequeño Traidor”, was going to travel to the United States to set up a new show, because remember that the “Tequeño Diabolic” needs to attract attention to take away the spotlight from “La Sayo” and because He suffers from attention deficit disorder and needs to be in the news all the time, regardless of whether he makes a fool of himself or overshadows the MariCori.

Brother! But the “Yasuri” tells me that what made “La Sayo” angriest was that Juan Pablo Guanipa's “Tequeño Macabro”, in order to look more like María Corina and generate more envy, sent his people to move so that the city of Doral would recognize him, because according to “El Tequeño Satanico” the more he looks like Sayo, the more possibilities he has of replacing it as if it were a cigarette butt.

Cousin! But we'll talk about the gossip about the “Rotten Little Boy” in the United States later; because I have some information about Sayo that will drive you crazier than when you trip your little toe against the leg of the bed.

You know that my ex “La Popis”, that is, the mother of your godson Hugo Nicolás, found out that it was María Corina herself who told her comrade Magalí Meda to give a statement saying that Sayo did not need authorization from the Trump captain to return to Venezuela or to be a presidential candidate. Goddess! These statements confirm what I had already informed you in previous letters that “MariCori” was in a plan to attack Catire and that she is more distanced from the White House than “Doña Florinda” from the biological pope of “Kiko”.

Goddess! , this is so true that after the challenging statements made by comrade Magalí, Sayo herself came out to say, in an interview, that she will run for presidential candidate, but she said this to keep challenging Catire because according to “La Popis” MariCori does all this because she feels protected by the US Democratic Party and because, according to MariCori, Trump will be defeated in the half-time elections.

Malay! Go get another cushion and look for a better place in that black chair, because our cooperating patriot “El Pejoteco” sent us all the information about what it was like to do Juan Pablo Guanipa, alias “Tequeño Crudo” to the United States, and this will leave you more amazed than “Mr. Barriga” when Don Ramón finally! He paid him the 14 months' rent and left him a deposit of 3 months separately. 

 Cousin! “Pejoteco” says that Juan Pablo Guanipa sold his visit to the United States as a trip to reconnect with María Corina, but the background was different. It turns out that “El Tequeño Endemoniado” had a very private meeting with a group of lobbyists so that they sell the idea to the Trump administration that if they finish discarding Sayo, then they name him as leader of the radical opposition, because already the “Little Traitor” knows that Trump doesn't want to see María Corina even in painting and he wants to seize the moment.

But that's not all Diosdado!

Pedro Urruchurtututu, alias “Mango Aguado”, “La Commadre Magalí” and José Amalio Graterol, alias “The Asylum Swindler”, were already handling the information that Juan Pablo Guanipa was going to the United States to conspire against his boss La Sayo and that's why they put spies everywhere in him. Cousin! This is how MariCori found out that the “Corrupt Tequeño” was going to stab her in the back, which is why in the video that Juan Pablo Guanipa published on his social networks reconnecting with Sayo, you can tell when she embraced the “Rotten Little Boy” with disgust and could not disguise his uncomfortable face, because it was clear that Juan Pablo Guanipa went to give him Judas's kiss.

Brother! El Pejoteco sent me the list of the non-public meetings that the “Tequeño Traidor” had in Washington” and how I finance his visit, I'm sending that to the WeChat group “Resteados con Super Mustache” and you decide if you make it public or not, so that people in the opposition realize that Juan Pablo Guanipa is not the “saint” he claims to be and how this traitor is fucking Sayo herself in the back after selling himself as his most faithful follower.

Goddess! Pejoteco sent me another good piece of gossip than squeezing lemons into a pack of doritos.

Julio Borges, alias “El Cejón”, advised his pupil Juan Pablo Guanipa that in the closed meeting with María Corina, he should ask to be the candidate for the governor of Zulia and in return he declined his aspirations to be a presidential candidate, but Sayo was not such an idiot and it seemed to her that there is a commitment to Gustavo Ruiz, alias “El Pelón”, who is the coordinator of Vente in that state. Cousin! The idiot says that when Sayo said this to Juan Pablo Guanipa, the “Tequeño Crudo” came in all colors, so much so, that it looked like a Christmas tree on fire.

Brother! Let's change the subject a bit, there wrote to me by our cooperating patriot “Pikachu” who is very close to Enrique Márquez, alias “Rubber is Replacement”. Pikachu found out that 'Rubber' and 'Replacement' is more concerned than Pinocchio about a fire because nobody answers his cell phone anymore and they threw it away very quickly because they realized that he was more of the same as the rotten opposition. The gringos know that Enrique Márquez walks just like La Sayo, racquetting and hammering more than a construction worker. Enrique Márquez tells everyone that he is the chosen one, he also said that he did meet María Corina when he was in the United States, but that this is a secret and no one should know, least of all someone they call Diosdado Cabello.

Goddess! , that's where our cooperating patriot The Pokémon reappeared, who was more missing than the plastic animals that came in Parmalat milk. Brother, remember that THE Pokémon is a member of Popular Will in Zulia and is the one that sends us all the information about Lester Toledo, alias “The Tinder Scammer”. Cousin! Pokémon told me that Lester Toledo sent false polls to be published in Maracaibo that put him leading the intention to vote for mayor and supposedly he is preparing everything to return to Venezuela, because abroad he never did well by defrauding his clients with shitty advice. Brother! Don't forget that Lester fell out of favor when Bukele discovered the trap he was having in El Salvador and his last client was murdered in Colombia, but I tell you more, Lester has a lot to count in that case, batteries! 

 Brother! I'm leaving now, but I'm going to leave you two ñapitas because I love you more than Winnie the Pooh to a jar of honey. Pejoteco told me that Juan Pablo Guanipa did everything he could to get Marco Rubio to attend to him and to the Trump jail in Washington, but it is said that it was Sayo herself who sabotaged everything. And, on the other hand, the “Tequeño Siniestro” met in the US with Juan Guaidó himself, alias “Juanito the Vacuum Cleaner, but in private and did not want to publish the photos so as not to discredit himself more than he is. Pejoteco sent me the photos of the Tequeño Traidor's meeting with Juanito the Vacuum Cleaner, I'm also sending them to you by the WeChat group “Resteados con Super Mustache”, you can see if you make them public or not.

Goddess! I know you don't like the fact that I'm accepting invitations to my ex Popis to go out because you say I'm weaker than a soda cracker in my pocket, but brother! Understand me, sometimes I go out with her just to get information from her, although sometimes she tells me that since I have lost a little weight I look prettier and rejuvenated. Now the joke insists that we give ourselves another chance to make your godson Hugo Nicolás happy, but when Popis is about to convince me once and for all I remember you when you tell me to stay away from her because it's more treacherous than a cheap deodorant.
Good brother! I'm leaving!

Goddess! What I love you is dick. I love you more than a service of Pelones rolls sold in the “Pa' que Marilín” store located in the penultimate corridor of Las Pulgas in the center of Maracaibo and which are bigger than an airplane turbine. Goddess! , the pelones should be mixed, that is, ground beef and chicken, bathed in plenty of tomato sauce, with oregano and garlic sauce added to it, no matter how much they soak the rolls. Let the stew have all the vegetables and that they stir it with a carton of eggs from the mollejuos. Cousin! , the rolls should be accompanied by a set of green banana tostones, well crushed with enough salt and heavy cream on top, plus a kilo of marshmallow rice with plenty of sauce on top. As a side dish, I would also add a serving of cooked salad with carrots, potatoes, coriander, boiled egg and that they stir it with plenty of mayonnaise, but don't add beetroot because it might be heavy on me. To drink! To get through the eating, put on a 5-liter bottle of water filled with guarapo from Panela with plenty of ice, and if my affection for you is too little, that is, if I get hungry, add two squares of the big pasticho squares, the kind that they sell at E'mery's house and they put a lot of smoked ham on it and gratinated it with lots of mozzarella cheese. Goddess! As I have been struggling with my diet, for dessert I only put a Paledonia of the mollejúas, the ones sold in the Santa Rosalía market, right next to the Libertador metro station, next to Las Playitas.

Well cousin, now I'm leaving, what I love is cock; you take care of me.