The bill for the blue suit is coming! Learn about María la Chik-Flada's new concern (+ CITGO Audit)

Published at: 06/05/2026 08:36 PM

May 6th, 2026

Press Briefing Room
The White House
Washington, D.C. VIP

PATRIOT Hello, my friend Furrialeño

! How are you? These have been quite volatile days on these sides of the world, full of mixed feelings: some salvageable, others downright irritating. But in the midst of it all, there continues that Venezuelan extremism led by María “La Chick-Flada” Machado and her constellation of salaried flatterers determined to continue sabotaging themselves: a lot of noise, little substance and an inexhaustible talent to end up, over and over again, with tables in their heads.

Because all of them, even if it's hard for them to admit it, know perfectly well that they were left out of the game and that, in realpolitik, their Hollywood fantasies are nothing more than a failed script with no impact on reality.

But before continuing. Goddess! I answered the message to you know who and it left me more confused than ever. Brother! I'm a serious guy. I'm sorry to tell you that I didn't care when the man told me that when I traveled to Venezuela he wants to meet me in a place that he really likes and is located on Avenida Solano, I don't understand anything! By the way, Diosdado! Will you know what place this is?

Anyway, let's do our thing.

Brother! I've always told you this, but it's worth repeating it without euphemisms: Venezuelan extremism did not “profit” from suffering, worse yet, it turned it into its fuel, its oxygen, its only reason for existing. They don't produce solutions, they produce failures. They don't build exits, they manufacture dead ends. His model is simple: if something can be improved, it must be sabotaged; if something works, it must be dynamited. Because without chaos they are nothing. Neither speech, nor leadership, nor utility. Zero.

The most repugnant thing is not how useless this pseudo-political class is for the Venezuelan people, but rather the industrial cynicism with which after they have called for sanctions, blockade, bombing, they have even opposed the entry of vaccines, now they want to return to the country and present themselves as the “saviors”. This is a real-time moral scam.

A perfect example, because it reveals them without the need for interpretation: the resumption of direct flights between Miami and Caracas. A concrete, tangible fact that improves the lives of real people. It's not narrative, it's not propaganda, it's not a Twitter thread: it's people meeting again without going through a meaningless viacrucis.

Goddess! Here comes the good thing: that hurt them. I can't understand how it hurt the maricorinato that there is connectivity, flights that improve the lives of hundreds of thousands of Venezuelans who need to go to Venezuela or come to the United States, flights that help the flow of trade. I swear to you I'm still amazed by so much human misery.

Their logic is very easy: you have to attack any achievement, because when something improves in our country, even a little, they lose all the scaffold of victimism with which they bill and kill businessmen abroad. You have to understand them, how do you sell the country of the apocalypse when positive news comes out every day for Venezuela and Venezuelans? How do you support the discourse of total collapse when there are families embracing each other without having to take three or even five flights to get to Caracas or Miami?

Brother! Nobody told me that. I saw it with my own eyes at the Miami airport. On the one hand, there were people celebrating something so basic that it's embarrassing that it made the news: being able to travel to their country without absurd obstacles. On the other side, the predictable chorus of the “scholars” of the disaster, was the communication payroll of the maricorinato, those who have been selling the suffering of others for years as if it were a Netflix series. It was incredible to see how they wallowed in their own anger, how they chewed frustration, because I insist, they can't bear to see people happy, the average Venezuelan, they don't want our people to have an improvement, even if it's minimal. They bet that nothing works, they are not interested in someone breathing a little better.

Goddess! The only thing that was missing for Carla Angola was to get in the middle of the runway and stop the American Airlines plane, they threw foam through their mouths, they said that it was impossible for people to return to Venezuela if the regime had not changed.

Brother! Leopoldism, maricorinato and pejoteros have in common evil as a philosophy and failure as success. To be honest, these political mercenaries didn't knock anyone down, they didn't solve a single people's problem, they didn't build anything at all. Their only measurable achievement has been to fuck up the life of the average Venezuelan, over and over again, while they live the Dolce Vitta when they are not on social media.

Leopoldism, maricorinato and pejoteros are incapable of allowing a clean moment, a breath without poison, so they dedicate themselves to their own thing: to mudge, distort, intoxicate. At the end of the day they were portrayed as what we have always said: they are an elite that doesn't care about people. That's their DNA and they'll never change.

THE VISIT OF TEQUEÑO CRUDO

¡Diosdado! Speaking of the reign of fascist and ill-intentioned opposition, Juan Pablo Guanipa appeared here, who tried to do a “World Tour” like María's “La Chick-flada” but in more than one place they closed the door in his face. Maricorinato has become a traveling show that, as I told you, is not convincing, it lost its golden age, so the boy was welcomed by the three usual cats, but no one of relevance in the Trump administration.

Honestly, I don't know what is more sad: if Carla Angola's act of xenophobia against a journalist who wanted to interview Juan Pablo Guanipa or the desperate attempt that these people have to search for a headline to remind people that they still exist. In the end, that's all they produce: noise, photos and ill-concealed anxiety because they know they lost their allies and the flow of dollars.

The little traitor was “awarded” with the famous Doral coin, an award that seeks to sell solemnity, but it's not worth half a cent, it's more a souvenir than a recognition, it's more props than merit. That's what alias Chucho told me about, a little friend of mine from Primero Justicia with strange attitudes like those of your friend Coquito. Chucho was close to Guanipa during his stop in Miami. According to him, Guanipa is convinced that he should and can be the presidential candidate with or without María Corina.

In his meeting with Machado, El Tequeño Siniestro used the script that was the same as always: playing on both sides. On the one hand, he sold Machado absolute loyalty, unconditional support and soldier discipline. On the other hand, the boy met with close circles to evaluate the possibility of obtaining a funding mechanism because he was going ahead with his candidacy.

Machado, in his eagerness not to let his own narrative die, asked Guanipa to launch a supposed “national tour” through Venezuela, a tour to tell people “she's almost back”. But the environment of the maricorinato is starting to open their eyes, they know that their boss will not come and if she does, the international political, business and even social cost will be enormous, because everyone, even their former ExxonMobil allies, knows that a possible return of the Chik-Flada is to steal the peace and calm that the country has right now.

SPEAKING OF MACHADO...

The violent event that occurred during the White House Correspondents' Dinner ended up setting off alarm bells in the Trump administration, not only because of what happened there, but because of the political noise that followed. And in that context, the silence of the leader of the Venezuelan opposition extremist sect has been interpreted by some as a sign of how vengeful, premeditated and egomaniacal she can become. A very difficult situation for the followers of Chickflada to understand in an environment so exposed to the media and so politically sensitive.

Our dear MilkeWake, who is still well connected in the spheres of power in Washington, assures me that the ChickFlada attitude did not go unnoticed, much less “under the table”. Circles close to the Trump administration have noted the silent campaign carried out by the Machado team against the current United States government, as well as certain political moves that read as direct attacks on Trump himself.

The first avalanche of criticism did not come from the administration, but from its own ranks of followers, which made it clear that the discomfort was neither external nor conjunctural, but internal and much deeper than what is intended to be admitted in public.

And the most uncomfortable thing about the episode is that the supposed “damage control”, attempted through a brief statement issued 48 hours after the incident, not only arrived late, but ended up achieving the opposite effect: instead of containing the crisis, it amplified it. For many, that move did nothing more than state, quite crudely, Machado's frustration at not getting the attention she wants from Washington.

A key point, and quite uncomfortable for some, is the one made by MilkeWake: the fractures between the Machado team and the Trump administration itself are no longer mere rumors in the hallway, they are now an obvious truth. What used to be masqueraded as strategic differences today reeks rather of deep wear and mistrust.

The last straw at the highest levels of Washington was not a one-off political decision, but something more corrosive: the festival of “fake news” that has come out of communication laboratories and pseudo-journalists who are aligned with Machado. A machine that seems more interested in manufacturing fictions than in constructing realities, and that in recent weeks they have shown that they can lie and lie to themselves to try to sell that the faggot is still in the game.

The problem is that the move turned out backwards for them. Instead of pressuring the American administration, what they did was to dynamite any margin of confidence that remained there. Because in politics, and especially at those levels, you can negotiate disagreements, but you can't live in systematic manipulation. Since the New York Time confirmed in November 2025 that Machado and the entire sect of opposition extremism had lied and manipulated about the situation in Venezuela, the alarms went off and are still active today.

THE BUCKET OF COLD WATER

Diosdado! The meeting that took place a week ago at the State Department with Dinorah Figuera, the supposed “president” of the now defunct AN-2015, is far from being a diplomatic achievement as the sect of opposition extremism is trying to sell. What actually happened there was something much more definitive: the signing, without euphemisms, of the death certificate of that mammotreto who for years survived on the edge of political fiction.

Our dear friend “La Charlotte”, who is still comfortably plugged into the US diplomatic power strip —don't forget to send her greetings in perfect English—, told me what was really cooked up in those conversations.

It wasn't a recognition meeting, much less. At that meeting, US officials discussed with Figuera something much more pragmatic and less glamorous: how to build an orderly framework to dismantle that institutional fiction that they call AN2015 and which is no longer supported even with an artificial respirator.

Brother! With the recognition of Delcy Rodríguez, political reality took a turn that some people refuse to digest. Today it is public and well-known that the effective legislative power is where it always ends up being: in Caracas, in the National Assembly presided over by Jorge Rodríguez, and not in that shell that survived until not long ago to plunder the money of Venezuelans.

However, as “La Charlotte” blows at me, the nervousness that exists inside that AN-2015 mammotreto is no longer concealed even with grandiloquent statements. And it's no wonder: several of its former drivers—such as Leopoldo López, Juan Guaidó and Julio Borges—start looking in the rearview mirror with more concern than nostalgia.

The reason? there is increasing talk of an imminent audit of CITGO, of the clandestine payrolls and the multi-million dollar assets that were approved there from 2019 to the present, which could open a real Pandora's box that splashes on everyone, even the Chik-Flada. So to prepare the cotufas, this story is stinging and spreading.

REMEMBER THAT I AM YOUR FINE, FITNEES AND IMPORTANT FRIEND.

CHANGE AND OUT.

P.S.: TELL YOUR FRIEND THAT THIS THING ABOUT LA SOLANO DOESN'T SOUND WEIRD.