They don't hit one! Find out why La Sayo's show failed in Oslo and the rice and mango they have in the White House

December 10th, 2025.

Inside the Grand Hotel Oslo

Surrounded by pure worms and stateless Venezuelans.

Hellooo, my furrialeaño friend. How are you? Brother! , I've been here for five days and I'm in a state of shock that even the best neurologist could not diagnose. I thought that the people who orbit around María “La Chick-flada” Machado were just touching their heads, but no! , his thing is a higher level, a kind of elite of delirium.

In fact, I am convinced that any psychiatric hospital would deny them entry not out of protocol, but out of instinct for institutional survival. Nobody wants such a collection of nonsense to contaminate their files. It's too much responsibility, even for experts.

The truth is that exactly what I warned you three weeks ago ended up happening, specifically on November 19, so they don't say that you invent. Without tricks or tricks, the deck doesn't deceive! María “La Chik-Flada” left, and there is the proof: the end began when many, with blind faith, said that would be impossible, because all this time María Corina Machado sold to her people that she would only leave Venezuela when Maduro fell.

The sad or funny thing about the matter, depending on the glass you see, is that all the drama, smoke and grandiloquence they sustained for months is crumbling effortlessly. They are collapsing on their own.

But oooo! , before continuing. Goddess! I'm in tremendous trouble with Coquito. This corduroy is so rare that he got upset because he doesn't want me to play Secret Friend with the rest of the deck's team. Yesterday he sent me a message that said: VIP, everything or nothing! I really didn't understand anything, I don't know what he meant, can you ask him? , brother! I have told you a thousand times that this corduroy is strange, something is wrong with it.

Anyway! let's go to what we came for.

Brother! Hold on wherever you can, from the chair, the ceiling or your last ounce of patience, because today is not a simple episode: it is the beginning of the end, the prologue to the announced collapse that some people are still determined to deny. And I'll tell you this without anesthesia: the coming episodes will be part of a grotesque spectacle, a carnival of improvised excuses, theories that border on ridicule and a process of victimization so exaggerated, that not even the boldest soap opera screenwriter would dare to do so.

I never understood that cloud of expectations that they themselves inflated in recent days with the arrival of “La Sayo” in Oslo. That whole show was nothing more than a cheap theater, carefully set up to distract the audience from the uncomfortable questions they don't want to touch even with surgical gloves. Because, let's be serious, she was the one who swore she wouldn't leave the country, a tremendous novel!

My friend, the truth is that María “La Chick-Flada” Machado left the country without drama and without the epic that her communication machinery is trying to manufacture. All that mystery to get people to ask “where is it?” , “where are you going?” , “did they let her out or not? , all of this was a political marketing exercise aimed at monopolizing media attention.

The show comes with everything, there will be no shortage of heroic narratives, inflated anecdotes and the already predictable cartoon about a supposed “extraction” worthy of a screenplay written by Steven Spielberg. Believe me, I say this with knowledge of the facts: I am here, listening to every sentence and every desperate attempt to put on a cheap epic show.

By the way, my friend, I ran into my friend La Michi —yes, the same one who passes the clandestine drink to Inmundo González as if it were diplomatic contraband. The woman was more heated than a firework because it turns out that La Sayo gave the supreme order: he can't testify to the media until she does.

According to La Michi, La Sayo decreed that no one can steal her prominence and that the Unworld must be kept silent as a statue of an abandoned square. And of course, that fell very badly between Mercedes and the family of the aforementioned Inmundo González. But hey, that's not surprising... that's how they are: drama, ego and control, all wrapped up in one package.

But if that didn't seem like much to you, get ready, because I come with a bomb of seismic proportions. Turns out that the mastermind behind this political circus in Oslo was Thor Halvorssen Mendoza, the cousin of the wireless Leopoldo López. And here comes the jewel: Thor ordered Crazy Leo to get Juanito Alimaña off the private plane leaving Miami for Oslo.

A little friend in Willingness to Steal —you know, the same as always— told me that Thor had warned his cousin to avoid Guaidó's presence at all costs, and that if he showed up in Oslo, they would give him a hard time at the diplomatic-shameful level.

But wait, because the novel doesn't end there. According to my contact, Thor also asked that those of the “interim government”, including the always ubiquitous Carlos Vecchio, be kept away. Even so, Crazy Leo made his way in with some of them as if nothing had happened, which has ignited an internal war between these groups.

Now they are repeating exactly the same strategy as in the Vatican: Maria Corin's entire team has an express order not to allow these people to approach them, much less to take pictures together. A kind of political sanitary cordon, a soap opera version from Caracas.

Meanwhile, what is truly nauseating today is not the farce of the protagonists, but the shameful role that the Nobel Committee has decided to assume. There's no fancy way to say it: they prostituted themselves. They sold what was left of their prestige to turn the event into a platform from which one can conspire against peace, against governments and countries. They lent themselves to the game of disguising political interests behind the supposed “defense of universal values”.

Those of us who are watching from the inside know perfectly well that this is not a tribute to peace or justice: it is the consecration of a theater that, in the right light, reveals an international conspiracy to attack our country and our sovereignty.

Brother! The propaganda party that has been staged in Oslo is simply impressive, with politicians and journalists parading as if they were artists invited to a circus. One tries to overcome the other in vanity, and all, without exception, have succeeded in turning what should be a prize to invite dialogue, unity, reflection, into a gross act of Venezuelan entertainment, with more drama and self-praise than real content. If the Nobel Prize was intended to symbolize hope and achievement, what has been achieved today is quite the opposite.

But here comes the big question that no one dares to answer seriously: where did the money to move “Raimundo” and “everyone” to Oslo come from? I'll tell you this clearly: from the resources that this extremist opposition has plundered for years after the Narnia government and the non-existent AN-2015. Yes, that same national assembly that no longer exists but which, miraculously, continues to disburse millions of dollars with the promise of “achieving the freedom of Venezuela”. Goddess! I'll summarize it for you, since Dinorah Figuera is a woman of color and left-wing, who had a house with a Chavista, she could never be next to Cayetana Álvarez de Toledo or Magalli Meda, if not because she is the goose that lays the golden eggs. Brother! Dinorah would have watched the Nobel ceremony on television, if she hadn't drawn the check for 14 million dollars.

The serious thing doesn't end there. I have seen it with my own eyes: these pseudo-journalists and pseudo-politicians give themselves the Dolce Vita without blinking an eye. They eat breakfast, lunch and dinner in luxurious restaurants, they stay in the best suites of five-star hotels and, of course, no one dares to question anything. Anyone who dares to ask for accountability is automatically labeled “Chavista”, as if demanding transparency is a crime against humanity.

And all of this has a very clear objective: I pay you in exchange for promoting narratives, not for you to think, ask or signal. Goddess! not even a Hollywood screenwriter would dare to invent: that the Chik-Flada left Venezuela in one of the repatriation planes sent by Trump and accompanied by F-18 planes passing through.

But the worst doesn't end there. It turns out that the ego fights between longliners have not been normal, this looks like a boxing ring, where everyone fights to see who figures the most, who gets the most scandalous headline and to see who sells the biggest lie. They are a widespread embarrassment, worthy of study.

In short, what you see here in Oslo is not politics or strategy, but a million-dollar circus of theater, inflated egos and fantasies, where reality has been the first sacrifice on the altar of spectacle, and where every movement is designed to feed the collective ego rather than to produce concrete results.

THE SITUATION IN WASHINGTON

My furrilean friend, all this theater in Oslo has another very clear purpose: to divert attention from what is actually happening in Washington. Because here among us, my friend, Catire Trump, has not yet decided how he will resolve the impasse with Venezuela, and the White House seems like a labyrinth of decisions.

Our friend Murphy, always connected to his power strip in the White House, sums it up with brutal honesty: what you experience within the administration is tremendous rice and mango. Meanwhile, the Catire knows that Hegseth and Rubio are taking him to the precipice, but he prefers to keep them close.

Another, no less important detail: according to Murphy, Trump feels pressure not only from polls, which show that Americans do not support war action in Venezuela, but also from his own party. Some members of Congress are demanding greater oversight of the extrajudicial attacks that Washington has carried out since September in international waters of the Caribbean and, to a lesser extent, in the Pacific.

By the way, don't forget that I mentioned that special envoy Richard Grenell is still being heard in Washington. Their opinions continue to reach the president and his role could grow in importance, even if there are still those who doubt that. As for Little Marco, he's under pressure: he sold Trump that he wouldn't need to send troops, that Maduro would leave if enough psychological surgery was applied. Now the Catire realizes that it wasn't as easy as they had promised him.

Be that as it may, if they want to, we want to. What is clear is that today, more than ever, there is a united and cohesive people, determined to fight for their independence.

THE DEFEAT OF THE CUBANO-AMERICAN WORM

Goddess! In the midst of so much spectacle and pantomime, I bring you a little detail that they want to pass under the carpet: last night, the candidate of the Trump administration for mayor of Miami appeared in a humiliating way in front of Democrat Eileen Higgins. Not only does her victory end 30 years of republican hegemony, but it marks the first time that a Democrat has led a city historically dominated by Cuban-Americans. A historic slap that works as a thermometer for what could be a political earthquake in the midterm elections of 2026.

This is the effect of the Trump administration's violent anti-immigrant agenda driven by the migrant traitor Marco Rubio. What happened in Miami isn't a simple change of mayor: it's a direct blow to the Republican ego, a slap in the face of the narrative of fear and control that they have sold for decades. This reconfirms that migrant communities no longer allow themselves to be manipulated so easily, and Republican strategists were left naked in the face of history and the ballot box.

What comes to them in 2026 is a butcher shop. You'll remember me.

REMEMBER THAT I AM YOUR FINE, FITNESS AND IMPORTANT FRIEND.

CHANGE AND OUT